I'm Going to Miss This

The other day I was driving to work, even though I didn't really want to. I was exhausted. I was impatient with the rainy weather and hadn't gotten out of the house as early as I'd hoped. I wasn't feeling well and couldn't wait until this summer when Ryan and I can commute together. Even though nothing really bad was happening, I honestly just wanted the day to pass. 

I hadn't paid much attention to the radio, but as I came around the curve on University Parkway I became vaguely aware that a slow, swanky country song was on. That happens sometimes when Ryan is last to drive the car, but I didn't bother changing.

The song was pretty cheesy and really didn't have anything to do with my situation, but for some reason I felt like it did. It was about raising children and how the phases they go through pass more quickly than you think they will. Maybe it was because I felt a bit like a child, or because I was so tired, or because the song reminded me of another I heard a while ago, but at that moment I felt one thing and one thing only (and I apologize for the somewhat cliché sentiment):

You're gonna miss this.

By the time I came to the intersection of State and University I had realized—or perhaps more accurately, remembered—that the days I had wished away just moments ago actually would fly by. That a month from now, I'll wonder where April went. A year from now, I'll look back at the time Ryan and I spent at Wymount away from Idaho for the first time and figuring out how to be a family of our own.

Five years from now, I am going to miss the nights when Ryan and I sat in the front room telling each other every detail of our days and discussing important things like why my co-worker doesn't celebrate his birthday or what time we should get in line for the upcoming BYU game. 

I'm going to miss this. 

And since then, I've noticed the way Ryan's smile gets bigger when the end of the semester gets closer. I've rediscovered my love for cooking and buried myself deeper in good books. I've called my parents on the phone more often and even created a themed family home evening for Ryan and I. Because when I miss this, I want to have a lot to remember.