Our Story, Part 4: Long-Distance Relationship

Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here.

Goodness, this is taking a while. We took a while. But let's move it along, shall we?

Where did we leave off? Oh yeah. After that never-gonna-happen second date in the Hart Building. We sat in the main corridor in the shadow of Thor and overlooking Viking BYU–Idaho Stadium until nightfall. So romantic.

Somewhere in the midst of all this, I mentioned to Ryan that I was leaving to live in Provo for most of the summer and all of the fall. You know, just that. I began my first of many weeks as an EFY counselor at BYU just a few days after Ryan and I went on our first date in May. I was committed to be a cast member in the Hill Cumorah Pageant for the better part of July and had more EFY scheduled for August. At the end of August, my internship in Orem began. To put it simply, I really didn't have time for a boyfriend. Especially not one in Idaho.

Ryan is quiet, but he's driven. And stubborn. And just the teeniest bit oblivious to whether someone is trying to break up with him. So at the end of the summer, we were still dating with the caveat that we could both still date other people.

I'm the only one who dated other people. Looking back, I think Ryan's decision was made.

It wasn't until the holidays rolled around that anything changed much with our relationship (teaser!). That summer and fall of 2008 we visited each other between EFY sessions, the Hill Cumorah Pageant, Ryan's fall classes, my internship and his Mormon American Travel Studies. We were a couple of busy bees. But in the midst of all that, we managed to make a few memories that have stayed with me and take a few photos that now grace the walls of our home.

Pop some popcorn and prepare for a montage of the dreaded Long-Distance Relationship.

Skiing on the Snake River

Ryan's family is really in to waterskiing. I've somehow managed to avoid being disowned with only two runs behind the boat in five years. Fortunately, my mother-in-law got a photo of the first one, which was obviously the most important. I had future in-laws to impress, you know.

The first time we went out on the boat it was just Ryan, me and his dad. Ryan went back to ski and I tried to make small talk with Mark, but he's not exactly one for small talk. So I let it go and enjoyed the sunset, the still water and the James Taylor playing on the boat's sound system. I don't think I'll ever forget how peaceful it was out there, or how much it made me love my home state.

Hiking Mount Borah
Oh, you've never heard of Mount Borah? It's just the tallest mountain in Idaho. NBD.

We left at 5 a.m. to climb and arrived at about eight. Some of Ryan's friends were there and one of them was a little upset at me for taking so much of Ryan's time. At one point I was honestly afraid he was going to push me off the mountain. JK. Kinda.

Ryan says he knew I liked him when I invited him over for dinner afterward, even after so many hours together. He stayed until late that evening—after I fell asleep on his shoulder while watching Sandlot. My mom started to catch on to things about then.

Ryan's sneaky friend infiltration

I could have easily put Ryan on the back burner while I lived in Provo, especially with our "open relationship" agreement. But Ryan refused to let things die (thank goodness), and one of the ways he did it was so sneaky I hardly noticed it.

I needed help moving a few heavy things into my Provo apartment, so Ryan sent his friend Jacob over to help. When everything was inside Jake helpfully invited me to play Ultimate Frisbee that night, since I didn't know anyone or anything. After that, I went to hang out with Ryan's friends a lot. And that meant Ryan was never far from my mind, with so many reminders from his friends. Those sneaky boys.

Ryan's arrival on Temple Square

For the first half of fall semester 2008, while I was interning, Ryan was on the Mormon American Travel Studies tour with a group from BYU-Idaho. They were gone for several weeks. In true BYU-I fashion, Ryan was one of just a handful of guys among dozens of girls. I didn't like that at all. By now, I was ready to admit that I might like him—maybe, just a little bit.

When his group arrived at the last stop on their tour—Temple Square, which is fitting for a tour of Mormon history—I took a half day off work and drove to see him. I remember feeling genuinely giddy.

He'd broken his leg prior to the trip (which is a story for another day) and so was in a boot when he arrived. I saw him across the foyer of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and, in an act of reckless abandon so out of character for me, broke into a run. He hobbled. We came together and hugged in true Nicholas Sparks style, minus the rain. All together now ... "Aww."

"Oh How I Miss You"
I've mentioned this on here before, but it bears repeating. I left a voicemail for Ryan one day during my lunch break. I had hoped to talk to him but missed him for some reason—probably because he was busy gallivanting around Mount Vernon with three dozen eligible bachelorettes or something. And while I wasn't terribly worried he'd fall for someone else (he was using their phones to call me, for crying out loud), I was disappointed he didn't answer.

Right on cue, a song came on in my car: "Oh How I Miss You" by Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband. It was one of our favorite songs by our favorite band. I wanna be your one and only, wanna share your hopes and fears and cares and laughs and all your dreams and everything in between—if you would let me be the one, Ryan Shupe sang while simultaneously emotionally stabbing me in the heart.

I ugly cried at a stop light.

Through all of this, though, I felt a little uncomfortable, a bit out of sync. This wasn't how I'd imagined I would fall in love. It was happening too soon, too fast. I wasn't ready to settle down and give up my globetrotting, career-jumpstarting, barely beginning adult life. I needed just a little bit more time before I married anyone.

But at the end of each day, when it was dark in my Raintree Apartments bedroom and I was alone with my thoughts and my prayers, I knew that when I did get married, I wanted it to be to someone a lot like Ryan Olaveson.