Some Thoughts on Balance

The night I realized Ryan just might be perfect for me.

I remember distinctly the night I put Ryan through my standard dating test. I don't remember considering it a test per se, but I did know that once I brought up the subject he might lose interest just like the other boys I'd dated.

But when I told Ryan that I wanted to do things besides be a stay-at-home mom, he didn't freak out. He completely understood what I meant when I said it, too—not that I didn't want to be a mom, and not that my kids wouldn't have my complete attention and be my highest priority—but that I wanted to do things to enrich my life and develop my talents and even further my career in the spaces between carpools and diaper changes.

He got it. He liked it. He called me the next day. And I realized Ryan could maybe be the one for me.

After we got married, I finished my degree and somehow found my writing making its way to over a million subscribers worldwide. Those were my balanced days. I would study my scriptures on the bus in the morning. I would put in a full day's work at a job I loved. I'd read a novel on the bus ride home. I'd come home and spend time with my handsome husband. I would sew or bake or watch TV at night. I felt peaceful. I felt balanced. I felt enriched.

At the end of the internship, they asked me to stay for another year on a contract basis. If I'd accepted the offer, I'd still work there. Sometimes I wish I had. But I got another offer that seemed like a much better decision at the time—it was a full-time, benefited position closer to home for more pay with no contract.

Hint: If there's no contract, they can eliminate your position without notice. I found myself without a job in April. And since then, I've been ... adjusting.

More than anything, it was hard for me to be home all day. I suddenly had so much time on my hands—more than I ever had. It was difficult to find motivation to get things done around the house when there was no deadline. But after several months of learning and trying and praying and adjusting to being without a full-time job, I've learned to find happiness in taking care of our house, meals and finances.

I've also come to an important realization: the secret to happiness is still in balance.

I took on a couple of freelance writing jobs a few weeks ago. Nothing huge—just some small projects. The combined total hours I've spent working on both projects is less than three days' work in a full-time position. But these projects have done something for me.

I've found that when I write, I become more motivated to do other good things. Writing makes me want to clean up the house. It makes me want to get going on dinner. It makes me feel productive and happy—even if it's just for a few minutes every day. Instead of leading me away from my duties as a wife and (soon) mother, working a little on the side makes me better at them. 

So I guess what I'm trying to say in these ramblings is this: Doing something every day to help me feel enriched physically, emotionally, mentally and—yes—professionally makes me happy. 

I'm happy because I'm balanced. 

Different things make different women happy, but I think we all need to find whatever that is and make it part of our lives, no matter what phase of life we are in. That appropriate life balance is something I hope to always, always keep. For my own and for my family's sake.